Feast on Forgiveness this Thanksgiving
by Ted Wernham BA CLU CFSB EPC
Stick this on your refrigerator door. That way, you will have some food for thought, every time you go after those Thanksgiving leftovers next week.
The tradition of Thanksgiving is for people to get together to eat lots of food, visit, and snooze after dinner, with the TV on. It used to be that most families would get together. You might remember when grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and friends would all gather at Uncle Bob’s or Grandma Smith’s, depending on whose “turn” it was.
The location would move, but the food was always great and the people would rarely change over many years.
Some Thanksgivings, when a chair was empty, adults would bow their heads in remembrance.
The kids would be uneasy because Aunt Janet was crying, but we all came to learn about loss and love when a family member had passed away.
Most always, the windows would be clouded with condensation from steaming food. There would be cranberries, gravy, and turkey with dressing and yucky parsnips!
Coats would be piled high somebody’s bed, as high as the whipped cream on the pumpkin pie. Each room was filled with laughter. The kids always had fun!
It used to be that there was only one Thanksgiving dinner for everyone. Now, sometimes, there are two, or three, or none.
Some are too hurt to feel much joy or thanks at Thanksgiving. The anticipation of the traditional dinner has shifted again, from “expectation” to “ex”, whether that is ex-wife, ex-husband or x’ed out member of the family circle. For some, it is a painful day.
Empty chairs more often are reminders of family hurt present than of family hero, passed away. Some will come to dinner, only if others do not. Some will not come at all.
Some will try to make it to all the dinners, when once, one was sufficient. They end up with heart burn and heart ache.
In some ways, it is easier now for Grandma, because she is too frail to prepare the feast and maybe a restaurant would do after all.
It is more anonymous there, you know, and the din from surrounding tables of strangers, will make up for the silence of those who don’t or won’t attend this year.
So, why not try serving up some forgiveness at Thanksgiving?
It is so easy to contact someone, anytime, anywhere. Easier than it has ever been.
And yet, I see more people who are not talking to others than ever before. Their distance is not measured in kilometers, nor is their silence by remoteness.
Today, velcro anger and a hole in the forgiveness bucket keep more families away from the Thanksgiving table, than all of the diet programs combined.
For those that do forgive, there is freedom. Freedom to get on with life, instead of remaining captive to the last unpleasant skirmish. There are still prisoners of war and most of them are relatives.
Researchers have determined that four out of ten adults concur with the statement “There is someone in my life that has hurt me in a way that is difficult for me to forgive.”
Whenever that hurt happened, you might still be hurting simply because you cannot, or will not forgive. This emotional burden might be carried for years, or even across generations.
Please, take some time this Thanksgiving to drop your bundle of bitterness. It is rock heavy, ugly and has no place or purpose on Earth or in Heaven. You will not be rewarded for its care or nurture.
Better at this time of year that you succeed in a great weight loss program. It takes an instant and instantly beautifies. The exercise of forgiving melts the bitterness bulge. Sadly, our society is more preoccupied in losing pounds of fat, rather than pounds of pain.
Forgiveness, at Thanksgiving, or at any time of year, is a life saver. Try it.
